


Sine Metu

by galerian_ash



Series: Sine Metu [1]
Category: The Expendables
Genre: First Time, M/M, Missing Scenes, Pre-Canon, The origin of the lucky ring!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-22
Updated: 2012-08-22
Packaged: 2017-11-12 19:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galerian_ash/pseuds/galerian_ash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barney claims to want a normal relationship. Gunner can totally do that!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sine Metu

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the matching tattoos that Gunner and Barney have, Latin for "Without Fear".
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://galerian-ash.livejournal.com/57346.html), on my LJ (with a few extra notes).

Gunner is an impulsive idiot. That much is painfully obvious as he yanks Barney close for a kiss that feels more like a punch. Noses smash together, teeth clatter, and Barney's hand meets with something of the don't-even-want-to-know-what-that- _is_ variety when he tries to push Gunner back.

And Gunner, Gunner just cocks that crooked smile at him. Completely heedless that the rest of the crew are all close by, making sure that the bodies on the ground are indeed dead.

"The hell was that?" Barney hisses.

He gets a wink in reply. "Our first kiss," Gunner says as he walks off to — presumably — do his damn job. He's positively _leering_ , and Barney can't decide whether he wants to remove that smug look with his fists, or...

Or perhaps show Gunner what a proper kiss should be like.

\----

Somehow, it becomes a habit.

Gunner simply drifts his way after a mission is completed, and Barney never turns him away. They find a quiet spot, trade gun smoke for fresh air, and wind down. A bottle of some local rotgut completes the picture.

And if Gunner bends down to capture his mouth in a surprisingly undemanding kiss, well, it's not so bad. Even if the booze is making his breath fiery enough to actually sting Barney's eyes.

\----

He realizes the danger on the night that _he_ initiates the contact. They haven't even cracked open the bottle, when Barney reaches out — fisting his hand in Gunner's bloody shirt. The blood isn't his, but it bothers Barney nonetheless. Perhaps that's what makes him act like a fool; growling Gunner's name into his mouth, licking and biting and letting his hands roam all over the sweaty body.

He's desperate, possessive — and Gunner yields, offering himself as if to a lover.

The realization is almost painful. He's being a complete idiot; not only allowing, but actively encouraging something that could end up being fatal. Not that he has any illusions about either of them growing old and gray, but this? This is like begging to be killed, creating not only a huge weakness but also a distraction.

So he steps away, raising a hand when Gunner makes as if to follow him. "Stop," he says, taking care to make his voice hard and cold. "It's over. This... whatever this _is_ , it has to stop now."

"That's rather sudden. One second you're-"

"I know," Barney snaps, cutting him off. "I have my reasons. Let's just leave it at that."

"Tell me." It comes out as a demand rather than a request, and for a second Barney thinks that it'd be a great excuse. He could start a fight over it, because hey, Gunner has no right to be ordering him around. But it'd be the coward's way out, beneath him.

It's better to lie.

Because he can't reveal the truth. That would almost be as dangerous as letting their _thing_ go on.

"Look," he says, "I can't do this with you. My life is fucked up, but if I'm gonna have a relationship... I want that, at least, to be normal." Gunner is giving him a blank look, so he pushes on, well aware that he's floundering. "Like Lee," he continues, "he has a girl he sees between missions. She doesn't know what he does, and they're just..."

"Normal," Gunner completes, deadpan.

"Yeah. So we'll just forget about this, okay?"

A smirk slowly curves Gunner's lips, and Barney _knows_ that he's screwed. "Hey, no need to be hasty. You want normal? I can totally do that."

Barney is saved from having to think up a reply, as Gunner simply walks off. He stares for a while, before remembering that he is supposed to be the leader of their messed-up little group. "Wait," he shouts, "don't forget that we're flying outta here at dawn."

Gunner doesn't bother to turn around, instead offering a jaunty wave over his shoulder. Barney buries his head in his hands, and groans.

\----

He wakes up when he hears someone entering the plane. The gun is in his hand before he recognizes Gunner's voice, quietly saying hi to Caesar and Yang, the only ones who'd stayed in the plane to sleep.

Barney holds his breath, silently praying that Gunner will just stay back there. But no, of course not, within mere seconds he barges into the cockpit. He sinks into the co-pilot's seat with a sigh.

The silence is oppressive, but Barney will be damned if he'll be the one to break it.

"Here," Gunner says after a while, "for you." He extends his hand, closed in a loose fist and concealing whatever it is he's holding.

Frowning, Barney raises his own hand, palm up. Gunner drops something in it, and it takes a few heartbeats for him to realize what it is.

It's a ring.

A horrid, gaudy ring. It features a large silver skull with gold teeth, encrusted with gemstones of various colors.

"Well?" Gunner asks, rousing him from his stupor. "Tacky enough for you?"

"I... _What_?" Barney manages to say.

"You wanted a normal relationship," Gunner replies, leaning forward to pick up the ring. He calmly takes hold of Barney's hand and slips on the ring. "Buying your lover a ring is the epitome of normal."

The laughter is impossible to stop. Gunner joins in shortly, blue eyes glittering brighter than any of the stones on the ring. Which is an absolutely cringeworthy thought, but Barney can't even bring himself to care anymore. Hook, line, and sinker — he's done for.

"I figured that something this ugly," Gunner says between guffaws, " _has_ to have other qualities. It'll be good luck, for sure."

"A good luck ring, huh?" Barney replies, snorting. "I'll take your word for it."

The subsequent kiss is peaceful, and the ring is a comfortable weight on his finger. Perhaps this isn't such a bad idea, after all.

\----

Luck isn't enough.

\----

"Got the blueprint in my pocket," Gunner whispers. "Thought it might come in handy, if..."

Regret is like a tangible presence in Barney's gut, making it hard to breathe. "If what?" he forces himself to say. The funny thing is that he _knows_ what Gunner will say, and he really doesn't want to actually hear it.

A low chuckle fans warm air over his ear. "If you decided to take me back."

Barney pulls back — not because their closeness bothers him, but purely out of a need to _see_. He wants to see Gunner, see those blue eyes and the crooked smile.

Neither is present — eyes closed, mouth slack. And for a split second he's convinced that Gunner is dead; that the bullet hit a bit too low after all. His fingers extend out of their own volition, shaking in a way that's unacceptable for a professional mercenary.

There's a pulse.

He withdraws his hand, rubbing it over his eyes instead. The wetness there comes from Gunner's blood, surely.

"I've called the ambulance." Yang's voice cuts through the haze, startling him.

"Thanks," Barney says, hating how fucked up his voice sounds.

"Want to wait until they come?"

Of course he does. Hell, even then he won't want to leave Gunner's side. But he has a job to do, appearances to keep up. "No," he says, suddenly glad that his voice is raspy and choked up. Makes it feel like it's someone else doing the deserting.

"I want to wait."

"...What?"

Yang sighs as he crouches down next to Gunner's unconscious body. "It's true that I don't have a family. But you guys are basically the same thing. So I want to stay. You feel the same way, don't you?"

"Yeah," Barney whispers. He reaches out and takes hold of Gunner's hand, squeezing hard. "Yeah, I do."

\----

Barney hates hospitals. Hates being stuck in there, especially at night when the silence is heavy and there is nothing to keep you company except unwelcome thoughts about your own mortality. He hates visiting others even more, though.

But a tradition is a tradition, and the job on Vilena is over. It's time to go see Gunner.

He knocks before entering the private room, feeling oddly nervous. Gunner's eyes narrow when seeing him, and he suddenly regrets coming here. How pathetically stupid, thinking he'd be welcome.

"What happened to your shoulder?"

The question is completely unexpected, and throws Barney for a loop. "Got shot," he mumbles.

"You too, huh?" Gunner says. He has a wry smile on his face, but it completely lacks his usual humor.

Well, at least they're getting right down to business. Perhaps that's a good idea, to cut to the chase directly. "I had no choice, Gunner. But for what it's worth — I... I wish things could've gone differently."

Gunner looks honestly confused for a second, then he's grimacing. "Don't apologize, I get why you shot me. I forgive you. Hell, I pretty much forgave you the second you pulled the trigger. And back then I thought I was dying."

It's a relief to hear, even if it doesn't quite ease the guilt. Gunner has never been the type to hold a grudge, but there's something not quite right. He's closed off, arms crossed over his chest, eyes skittering away from Barney's gaze.

"When you get out of here, swing by Tool's. The guys would be glad to see you, and if — if you can kick the drugs..." he trails off, hoping the offer is clear enough. He can tell Gunner is on his way to recovery already; had seen the signs of withdrawal in the warehouse. Being laid up in the hospital was going to help, as well.

He expects Gunner to gladly accept the offer, but if anything he just grows more standoffish. "If you want to, I mean," Barney continues. "I won't blame you if you'd rather stay out."

Gunner shakes his head. "It's not that," he says.

"Then what?"

Finally, blue eyes meet his. It's an intense gaze, steadfast and serious. Barney doesn't look away. "Do you trust me, Barney?"

It takes a moment for him to get it. And when he does, he feels like kicking himself. He should've _known_ , dammit. He remembers that moment in the garage; the unsure, almost shy smile on Gunner's face when he'd asked if there was work to be had on Vilena. Remembers the betrayed look etched in Gunner's entire being when he'd turned him away, saying he couldn't be trusted. Barney couldn't have hurt him more, if he'd so plunged a knife into his back.

"Shit," he curses, taking a few steps forward in order to sit down on the edge of the hospital bed. Gunner, thankfully, doesn't move away. " _That's_ what you're upset about?" he asks. "I shot you, but you're hung up on-"

"Just answer me," Gunner cuts in. He reaches out, fingers trailing across Barney's throat as if mapping the bruises and rope burns. "Can you trust me again?"

Barney swallows, painfully aware of the way Gunner's hand stills around his throat, thumb stroking his Adam's apple through the motion. He wants...

"Truth be told," he says, voice a mere whisper, "I don't think I ever stopped. Not really."

Gunner's hand travels up to trace his lips. Barney kisses the fingers, warmth coiling inside of him when Gunner returns the affection with a crooked smile.

"I trust you," he repeats. "Will you come back?"

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," Gunner says, leaning in to seal the deal.


End file.
